This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast.
So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here, now. Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours. We're glad to have you with us. If you don't watch us on Facebook or on YouTube, you're missing out on the best part of the conversation sometimes because we have some really interesting topics.
That's why we often come back laughing. And thank you for not looking at us on Facebook.
Well, yeah. I mean, if you've seen the pictures, I know why you don't. Absolutely. Yeah, we do have mirrors. We know what it looks like.
We look like. We are talking about the topic of initiation today and how that ties into our Christian walk and our time with the Father. How does that fit in? And why is that a critical part of our life? And so, as we're going through sharing, we're just talking about different aspects of.
how we've seen that unfold in our life. And so I've got a clip. I have the first clip. Uh of the show the show Particular show, right? And it's from Braveheart, and it's kind of a mashup of a couple different scenes.
And where we have in this scene is young William Wallace, his dad and brother get killed in a war. And he didn't have a mother. The mother's already gone somehow. We don't know where she went, but I'm assuming she died. And so Williams left as an orphan.
And he's standing at the graveside, and this person rides in, and it's his uncle, and we'll hear that part. And then you'll hear a couple other things of the interactions with. him and his uncle, and then we'll come back and talk about it.
Well, one little benefix is that y you know, Sam Identified the clip as Braveheart Socks. Yes, I did. That was my name for that clip.
So if you think about that, as you're listening to the clip, you'll go, okay, Braveheart Socks. Yeah, see if you can make the connection. Yeah, there you go. That's amazing. It's only because I didn't know how to spell the other one.
William. I'm your uncle. Argyle. Oh, yeah. We'll stay here tonight.
Tomorrow, you'll come home with me. I don't want to leave. You didn't want your father to die either, did you? But it happened. Did the priest give a poetic benediction?
The Lord bless thee and keep thee. It was in Latin. You don't speak Latin?
Well, that's something we shall have to remedy, isn't it? Plus they'll keep the The Lord causes light to shine on thee. The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee. And give thee peace. What are they doing?
saying goodbye in their own way. Playing out loud tunes on outlaw pipes. It was the same for me and your daddy. When our father was killed. First.
Learn to use Thus Then I'll teach you. to use. Thus. Mm.
Some of that was more visual, you know, but I didn't set it up fully like I should have, probably. But at that end, you know, he's. W William is looking at the sword and he's, you know, enamored by it. And that's when his uncle says, look, first you used to learn your intellect. And then I'll teach you how to use the sword.
Which echoed something his dad had told him before. And when you first Introduced to Uncle Sox. He comes in, and he's this gruff guy. And you're like, wow. And his first statement is, well, you didn't want your dad to die either, did you?
You're like, wow, what a jerk. And then as it progresses on, you have a scene where he's praying. He's saying, okay, God, and doing his prayers. And right after that, These uh musicians are playing on the bagpipes and and well William walks up and you have this conversation. And so William goes from a place of I don't really like this guy, I have no desire to be with this guy, I want to just stay at my home.
to oh, there's somebody that's been through what I've been through. And if you watch the movie, watch it again and watch it for this to play out, but that time with his uncle was the most impactful time in his life. It made him who he was as a man. You know, the uncle took him to do all these pilgrimages and these things that he got initiated. Right, and it really changed him completely.
And that's what we're talking about that the Father does. He takes us through initiations. to change us completely. From who the world has made us be, that he never intended us to be. to the people he designed us to be.
One of the things I love about that story is you know Uh Brooks and Um The whole idea of Masculine initiation plays throughout the whole movie. I mean, it really does. And even as little boys, you know, the two boys are out there playing, throwing rocks and they're playing war and all of those different things, right? And there are the games of initiation, and then there's the real life initiation. And so unfortunately, William is young, but.
He Still Has to jump into that initiation. He doesn't have a choice. And honestly, if you're old enough to drive right now, you don't either. Um you really don't have a choice. you can enter in.
and ask God for his Help. Through that initiation process. And then, when maybe some guy does play a stupid trick on you or is mean to you or whatever, then you can take it back to God and say, okay, God, are you using that? As part of my initiation and what do I need to get from that rather than just being mad about it and wanting to take a sword to somebody as in the scene. On the other side of that, for me, As I just hear that music, that's all I have to hear.
Right? And it would bring me back. to a lot of my initiation into Biblical masculinity into finding out what God has in mind to become a man because. You know, w at boot camp we use that and it and it brings back So many different times in my own life that I was struggling and something through boot camp. lit up to show me the way back to God, the way back to Wow, this is something that has speaking directly to my story, to my.
Individual Life that is going to work, and certainly into. you know, from our standpoint, Um the the fellowship of men, the band of brothers that we have You know, we have been through those clips so many times, we've heard that music so many times that it can't help but make you feel like here we are, like this is where we need to be, and this is the battle that we need to fight, and it's fighting for the new guys that show up, right? Yeah, you bringing that up, Robby. What happens at boot camp, at the spiritual boot camps that we're talking about? Is it a little bit of a process of initiation, but what happens at a boot camp?
Is what should be happening in all stages of your life as you enter into that new stage, and that is. that I learn to enter in Fail. Usually. Get back up. Enter in again, maybe fail yet again, get back up, enter in again.
And that's, I think, the most powerful part of the boot camp for me, the first time I ever went to one, was I heard guys like John Eldridge or Craig McConnell or Bart Hansen, who I probably identified more with than any other of the guys. I heard them talk about their failures. I heard them and I hate to say it, but most of My life growing up in church was not. A spiritual leader standing up and saying, Hey, look, I blew it once too. This is how that happened, and this is how God redeemed that.
and is now using it for me to be a blessing to you. And that was the difference in a boot camp experience.
So every time I hear those clips, like you, Um My mind immediately goes back to sometimes it goes back to the actual boot camp that You know, may have impacted me the most that we did together, or maybe one that I went to with somebody else that impacted me a lot. but it also takes me back to Those hard things that you talked about, Sam, that You know, I'm glad I made it through. I don't want to do it again. You know, I'm glad for what it accomplished in my life. Do not want to do it again.
you know, type thing. Yeah, it it definitely does. I was thinking about a little bit ago when you were talking about how the initiation helps you realize you're a part of the group. You know, my boys were able to come up. in a lot of the masculine journey message, the wild heart message.
It's been around their whole life for the most part as they've gotten older. And but I think some of the stuff that's made them feel like a part of the team is they've you guys have welcomed them with open arms. when they've come in and you know Eli ran with with Harold, he ran the computer a lot of times when he was young, you know. Caleb has done stuff. But also, Robby, I was thinking about when you and Andy took the boys out to drive the Jeep and teach them how to drive a stick shift.
Right. I think that was a big difference maker for them. You know, because you had somebody that wasn't their dad pouring into them that cared about them. Right. And I think it forever linked him to The masculine journey and the team, even in a deeper place, because we were living out what we talk about.
Yeah, and they could see that. If you're a dad and you have boys, if you're a mom, a single mom especially, and you have boys. You need Some really good godly men. in your life that you can trust your sons with. or really good godly women that you can trust your daughters with.
It applies to both. The best thing I did as a father was not all the lectures. It wasn't even all the prayers over my kids or anything else. Not that those were bad. But the best thing that I see the most fruit from is being fairly consistent.
But making sure that My kids had good people who weren't me. and weren't their mom. In their lives, where they could go hang out with my friends for a day, a week, whatever, and do things, go to work for somebody, go to work for a Sam on a job site and learn how to be an apprentice. Things like that. That's what I did the best with my son especially was I had Five or six guys that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, they probably wouldn't tell my son the same thing I would tell them in the same situation.
But I knew God and they walked together, and I knew I could trust them, even if I didn't necessarily agree with them on every point. I knew I could trust them with my son's heart. And that was one of the biggest things that I did. And that's That's multiple processes of initiation, is all that is. Yeah, I was thinking back about a time then I'm not a car guy.
I'm really not a car guy. I can work on houses. That doesn't bother me. Cars just infuriate me. I can't stand to do it.
I don't like it. My hands are too fat for the small parts. That's a big part of it. But I did learn how to do disc brakes, mainly out of necessity I had to because I didn't have the money to pay somebody. And so someone had taught me how to do them.
And as Caleb was getting older, I took him out and I had him help me do the brakes on his mom's car and my car a couple times. And then when Eli came along, it was kind of cool. Caleb invited him out. said, Hey, come out here and help me change my brakes. You know, and once in a while they say, Hey, Dad, can you look at this?
But over time, it was really fun just to see how they grew together, got closer as Caleb invited him into a process he'd been invited into. Right. And that's what we're talking about as part of this initiation. You know, as I'm as you guys are talking actually, I'm sitting there thinking Gee. My parents didn't really have friends.
I mean, we've moved. is my father's career. We moved every two or three years. And I was never around my father's friends because honestly he didn't have many. In fact, I couldn't tell you who they were.
Um I was my mother you know, was kind of a lone wolf too. And so We moved all the time, so I always felt like an outsider, and now I'm beginning to go, hmm. Gee. You know, I don't feel like I'm part of this. Or things that happened where it really made me feel part of something.
Make me feel included, really felt like home, and really like, oh my goodness. And so, you know, just, you know, as you guys are talking, just think about it. You know Are your kids involved in your friends, or are you like me? Like you suffer from that and And because of that, you stay outside of, because you don't feel like you're part of it. And that requires some courage.
Yes, that's my reality. How do I fix it?
Well, the beauty of the whole masculine journey. and feminine journey quite frankly. is God will take you back through. The beloved son stage, the beloved daughter stage, the The cowboy ranger, the warrior, the lover, all he'll take you back through those stages. um in a kind, loving um productive way.
It it it won't be like learning algebra in school. Why am I doing this?
Well, because you're supposed to. No, it'll it'll be no, there's there's there's meat here on the bone for you to For you to know on. We can't forget that the enemy is in the mix of trying to remind you of stuff. Robby, I hope you don't mind if I share a story about you.
Okay. You know, Robby, we've been walking together for a long time. Gosh, 2009, right, since we've all been together. And along the way, one of the boot camps we went to surprise Robby when he's up and speaking. And so he used to use the word shenanigans a lot.
And so we got these shirts that said something about I'm here for the shenanigans or something like that. And so when he started to speak, we all stood up and, you know, showed him our shirt. He hadn't seen it before. And I remember you sharing after the fact that your first thought was, Well, why wasn't I included? Right?
Because God was still after some of those things.
Now, look, you realize pretty quickly: oh, okay, they're doing this for me. Right, but it was that again, the enemy is just like trying to get you to go back to that place immediately, right? And so it's a pull. to say, Okay, hey, can I get you back in this bondage that you've been getting broken free from? Right.
And you didn't stay there but just a second, but you shared with us after the fact how he had attacked you in that. Wow. Yeah. And it clearly is a struggle. that you know you guys have really helped me realize and You know, I c I can't believe how blessed I feel.
to have the groups of friends. And the fact, you know, and Harold's here and He walks with Gaither, another one of my good, good friends, and to have the fellowship of men that God has given. Uh is is beyond precious And I've always said it feels like heaven to me because I feel like I belong. Mm-hmm. It feels like You're truly loved for who you are, and you have a chance to do that.
And there's no feeling like that to me, like boot camp of. of being in that position where we're really You know, bad let it out together. And that's been the biggest battleground that we have too. I mean it really is because that's what Satan hates the most. He hates Unity because How will people know that you're my disciples, that you love one another?
that you are truly one part with another. Mm.
And so he can't have that. And I remember at a particular boot camp where you and I were very upset with each other. Just one? Oh, no. There's a couple I can think of.
I said a particular one. Oh, okay, okay, okay. A particular one, Robin. I think I remember that one. Yeah.
I remembered probably the most hurtful thing I've ever said to you was. Um I said something to the effect of: Robby, you forget we invited you into this ministry. We invited you into this journey. And I was. In a mean way, trying to put you in your place, right?
I mean, that was the fleshly side of it. But that was Probably the single most painful thing I've maybe ever said to you. And of course, we've worked that out now. and both kind of figured out how stupid we were. But or at least me.
No, I was, you know, that was, I was sitting there thinking the very same thing. How stupid Daredevil? Yes. That's a recurring thought. I mean, it's kind of like tape to his forehead.
As good as that is, it wasn't what I was thinking.
Okay. What I was saying is, you know, you said for leaders to stand up and say, wow, we failed. And if there's a place we failed, Um and horribly. It is in that very area of unity and God has walked through us. Walked with us through this, and it's certainly some of the most painful stuff I've ever been through in my life.
But again, it was part of the initiation process, and if you didn't risk it, If you didn't risk that kind of love, if you didn't risk that kind of fellowship, if you didn't risk being all in and wholehearted, then you couldn't experience the pain that we experienced. when it when it blew up. Um And you know, passionate, wholehearted people blow up. Because they really care. Um in my opinion The p the passionate, wholehearted people I've been around, you know, they're they're all in and they're and they're passionate.
But As that happened, Um Oh. Did we find ourselves right where God wanted us? I can remember. hours and hours and hours of prayer. and and in in in fellowship with either one of the, you know, over the whole situation.
It is grim, difficult.
Well, and it also gives you perspective, right? When God can take you through to the other side of that. Um You know, I went through.
Sorry, I'm shifting to me a little bit, but where God's been initiating me, and it's been a long journey for my wife on it, but. You know, I've been married twice before, and to be honest, there are times I wasn't a great husband. you know, I n was lacking initiation and and after I got divorced the second time, I was single for ten years. In about nine of those years, I've been dating the same person. But God was initiating me all along the way because I was so broken.
on the things that I knew I'd messed up and the ways I'd been hurt. that he had a lot of stuff to heal. And to work on. And what I found, and I've only been married a little over a month now, so I'm not taking it too far, but we've known each other a long time. But I really find myself in a much different place than I've ever been because of the initiation process.
You know, when something comes up that would have just made me so frustrated, in the past, I have the perspective that's really not a big deal. You know, when everything's a big deal, if you've been a parent and your first kid acts up in a restaurant, you think it's the worst thing that ever happens. By the time you get to your fourth kid, you're like, eh, whatever. You know what I mean? It's perspective, right?
They drop the pacifier. You just wipe it off on your shirt and give it back to them. Yeah. Yeah. That kind of thing.
But I think that initiation thing, those failures is what we need to be humbled to where we can get initiated till we get on the other side and be healthier for it. And as a group, we're healthier.
Well, we've talked about this a lot together, and God has done a lot of initiating with us in this regard, and that is that. Real intimacy, real unity, real oneness only comes on the other side of conflict. Look, if you fell madly in love with somebody and have never had a frustrating moment with them, You do not know yet what love really is. I'm just, I know that sounds arrogant, but you don't. Um,.
Until you've thought hard. And got to the other side. Not win, okay, not when the argument, gotten to the other side. And, and, and, and figure out hey That person's heart is the most important thing in the world to me, and I know that my heart is the most important thing in the world to them. And so let's stop avoiding that.
if all you ever do is get to the point where you feel the conflict? And you back away from it? and never go ahead and push through. You will never get to the intimacy and the community and the unity that you want. There's all, I mean, scripture's full of it, but there's all kinds of secular books that, you know, on that.
There's a book called. Five dysfunctions of a team. The whole premise of that book is: unless you're willing to fight with each other in the boardroom, you're not ever going to go anywhere. And you got to do it with respect. You got to do it with kindness.
And sometimes you're going to need to say, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, or I shouldn't have done that, or man, I really thought. You were wrong there, but you were right. And, you know. Those things have to happen, and so there has to be humility in it. and redemption.
I mean, let's just call it what it is. It's redemption. It's God redeeming the stupidity or the pain or the hurt or the risk. I mean, all of those things in order to bring us to a deeper Point of unity, intimacy, one mind. I mean, all of the things, if you look at all the one another passages in Scripture.
Those There's a reason why Paul and Jesus. And Peter and others talk about the same things over and over and over and over again with regard to how to live with one another. It's because it's hard. And you're going to hurt each other. And so, and it's not just in a marriage, it's in a church.
I mean, it's in a friendship. How many people have quit church because somebody got mad at them and You know?
Well, yeah, the old saying, there's no hurt like church hurt. Yeah. And when you're talking about that, I remember, you know, I think it may have been in that same book, but they talk about the successful teams forming, storming, norming. Yep. Right?
You have to go through the storm. And I think about the great quote from Sean Connery. And the first night Where he says there's a peace that only comes on the other side of war. You won't really know the depth of the peace unless you've gone through the war. And there's a lot of wisdom.
In that, and when you can look at it from that perspective, it doesn't make you excited to go through it. But you know there's hope for the other side of it. And even in the things we keep really hidden, you know one of the worst things, you know, and I to to Sam to Darren's point and Sam's point, That You know, I was addicted to pornography. What I was doing to my wife that whole time that she had no idea of to bring that to the forefront was a war, believe me. Oh, yeah.
And I had it coming. Um Yeah. But Tammy was loving somebody that she didn't know. You know, I wasn't getting the love because she thought I was somebody I wasn't. But when we went through that time and she was able to forgive me and I could actually look in her eyes and see that she still loved me even though she actually knew what a disgusting human being I am.
Right? I mean, i that that she Loved me, not the picture that I thought that I was. And that therein lies the same thing we have. In other words, You guys have seen me at the good, the bad, and the ugly, and you still love me. Like, what?
Does it always have to get back to Clint Eastwood? Yeah, it every show should end with Clean Eastwood. Yeah, it's got to get there somewhere.
Well, thank you for listening. Go to masconjourney.org to register for the upcoming boot camp. It is an advanced camp, so if you've been to a boot camp anywhere with any other group attached to Wild Heart, you can come to this. Or if you've been to one of our entrenchments, and speaking of entrenchments, if your church would like to have us come for a two-day time to talk on these topics, get a hold of us at masconejourney.org. Let God lead you this week and let Him initiate you.
We will talk with you next week. Yeah.
